Friday, August 29, 2008

Beating the Bishop: Cardinal sin

Thanks to India Uncut Blog I stumbled upon 'Masturbation is evil' site which proclaims that masturbation is evil. It's a wonderful read and should go a long way in terminating this social evil that has taking hold of our society - especially among people who are in the sexually active age-group. It clears away the myths that surround us.
Few extracts:
Myth: Masturbation is harmless.
Reality: Christianity proves that chronic Masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.

Comment: Since when did Christianity become a research group investigating claims.

Myth: There are bigger problems than Masturbation, like drugs and AIDS.
Reality: Experts estimate that there are at least 150,000 Americans masturbating RIGHT NOW! Masturbation costs American businesses at least $3.14 billion in lost productivity every month!

Comment: Wonder how much does India or China suffer because of this evil!!

Myth: Masturbation is a "Victimless Crime."
Reality: Theological experts on Masturbation have come to the conclusion that Masturbation is what is known as a "gateway" sin. This means that Masturbation leads to more serious offenses. In fact, practically all rapists, Sodomites, child molesters and pornography addicts started out as Masturbators.

Comment: Hearing about the group Masturbators for the first time. Do they have regular meetings and stuff. What's their agenda??

Myth: But everyone's doing it!
Reality: Surveys have repeatedly shown that up to 5% of Americans don't Masturbate.

Comment: Aren't 5% people the one who can't rather than don't. We do have a fair share of senior citizens.

It goes so far as to even proposing a solution.

How to stop the current epidemic of Self-Abuse...
..If we are to get tough on Masturbation, we must eliminate Masturbatory paraphernalia. This means outlawing such things as:
2. ALL indecent art. This includes paintings, sculptures and photographs. We don't need the Victoria's Secret catalog! Simple, modest underwear would sell itself and minimize unGodly temptations.

Comment: Looks like glossy and attractive magazines are going to go through a lean period
3. Certain food. If we outlaw dildos and require that all sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced, we will make it much easier for the women among us to resist the temptation to Masturbate.
Comment: My favorite part. Let's also ban bananas, peanuts and lollipops. Let's raze down Eiffel Tower, Qutub Minar and Washington Monument. Let's stop building rockets and submarines.
They get a bit strict here..
Zero Tolerance! Zero Tolerance has been a rallying cry in the War On Drugs, and is a policy that should be enacted immediately in the War On Masturbation! Any amount of Masturbation is too much! Any person caught touching his or her genitals without a solid, medically-approved reason should be imprisoned in a boot camp. We will teach our children that God did not give us genitals for entertainment.
Way to go!!That should put a stop to all the 'funny' stuff going on

They have even given Scientific PROOF!

In fact, it also goes on to say that chronic masturbation is the cause of assault on America.

MASTURBATION EQUALS VIOLENCE! How can any honest person believe otherwise in the face of the overwhelming evidence presented here? The one thing that the authors of these messages have in common, other than the fact that they are all seething powderkegs of homicidal fury, is that they all MASTURBATE!

LIBERALISM EQUALS VIOLENCE! Note well the Liberal political philosophies parroted by so many of these diatribes! This proves more than ever that ALL Liberal political movements, including Feminism, Communism, Kalistaism, Vegetarianism, the Democratic Party and the current "Peace" movement, are nothing but violent death cults fueled by the evil hatred that comes from Chronic Masturbation! Can anything be more chilling than a warning that you are on a list of victims to be "killed by people with open minds and accepting personalities?"

Is there anything left in this world that hasn't been blamed for the assault on America??

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Really happy to see that number of people subscribing to my blog has gone up to 2. The first one being myself :P.
I thank the subscriber for considering my blog worthy enough, and please please let me know who you are.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sex in Olympics

Recently I came across this very interesting and enlightening article by Matthew Syed in The Times through Mr.Amit Verma's India Uncut blog.
I am putting up some extracts here.

I am often asked if the Olympic village - the vast restaurant and housing conglomeration that hosts the world's top athletes for the duration of the Games - is the sex-fest it is cracked up to be. My answer is always the same: too right it is....
There are the gorgeous hostesses - there to assist the athletes - in their bright yellow shirts and black skirts; there are the indigenous lovelies who came to watch the competitions. And then there are the female athletes - literally thousands of them - strutting, shimmying, sashaying and jogging around the village, clad in Lycra and exposing yard upon yard of shiny, toned, rippling and unimaginably exotic flesh. Women from all the countries of the world: muscular, virile, athletic and oozing oestrogen.
It was not just the guys. The women, too, seemed in thrall to their hormones, throwing around daring glances and dynamite smiles like confetti. ... the mutual longing so evident it was almost comical. It was an effort of will to keep everything in check until competition had finished. But, once we were eliminated from our respective competitions, we lunged at each other like suicidal fencers.
..A British runner said: “The swimmers finished earlier in the week and it was like there was an eruption.” For some reason the International Olympic Committee insists on bunching the swimming events towards the beginning of the Games with the inevitable consequence that the aquatics folk get going earlier - sexually I mean - than everyone else.
There is a famous story from Seoul in 1988 that there were so many used condoms on the roof terrace of the British team's residential block the night after the swimming concluded that the British Olympic Association sent out an edict banning outdoor sex. Here in Beijing, organizers have realized that such prohibitions are about as useful as banning breathing and have, instead, handed out thousands of free condoms to the athletes. If you can't stop 'em, at least make it safe.....
I am not implying, for one moment, that every athlete in Beijing is at it. Just that 99 per cent of them are.

Now comes something that is not really a surprise but a point that makes you ponder

..however, it is worth noting an intriguing dichotomy between the sexes in respect of all this coupling. The chaps who win gold medals - even those as geeky as Michael Phelps - are the principal objects of desire for many female athletes. There is something about sporting success that makes a certain type of woman go crazy....
An Olympic gold medal is not merely a route to fame and fortune; it is also a surefire ticket to writhe.
But - and this is the thing - success does not work both ways. Gold-medal winning female athletes are not looked upon by male athletes with any more desire than those who flunked out in the first round. It is sometimes even considered a defect, as if there is something downright unfeminine about all that striving, fist pumping and incontinent sweating. Sport, in this respect, is a reflection of wider society, where male success is a universal desirable whereas female success is sexually ambiguous.

Read the rest of you so desire. Pretty informative, I must say. This makes me ponder- why was Abhinav Bindra in such a hurry to return home!! No wonder, 4 of our hockey coaches made it to Beijing, even though our team failed to even qualify. Now, let's not judge them- they are supposed to see, observe and learn moves and play ball. Phelps made 5 new world records and Bolt 3 in this olympics for being the quickest in their respective fields. Hopefully, Phelps and Bolt do not do everything at that speed. :P
P.S::: A lot of people might ask- how to gain access to the Olympic village??
Sad news people, only representatives of the country - by that I mean only the participating athletes and coaches are allowed. Time to bring out those 'forgotten' running shoes I say.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Bolt and relay

Bolt won his third gold of the Beijing Olympics in 4x100m relay race, thus helping in setting up the 3rd world record in sprint event. The quartet of Asafa Powell, Michael Frater, Nesta Carter and Usain Bolt completed the race in 37.10 seconds, as compared to 37.40s set earlier by the US.
I really don't know how the relay timings work and the technicalities that go into increasing speed, but I can straightway see the average time of a single partner to be 9.27s, surpassing the individual 100m WR of 9.69 by Bolt himself by a long distance. It means at least a couple of sprinters must have surpassed the WR easily.
It's amazing to see that the individual times are not mentioned in the relay races. For me, they epitomize the feeling of team spirit. You really have to marvel at the event which brings together the fastest racers of a country, each having to give their absolute best to bring home the Medal. One error, one off day and it's all gone.
The platform which brings together Asafa Powell and Usain Bolt to give their best for each other and their country must have inspire some awe. The two rivals supporting each other and wishing well for the other is magnificent. Let us savor this feeling of team spirit and toast to it.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Jaane Tu...

I saw Jaane Tu.. during the holidays. Twice actually, in theater. However, thats not because I became a big fan of the 'romantic teen' movie. It's a light, happy film with an ending we all know before the movie has started. It's a decent watch and thankfully does not go off the track in between (goes a bit wayward but manages to hang on). The reason(s) why I saw the movie twice are two. I am not mentioning the first( my close friends already know that :P). The second reason is that I had met the cast of the film - all the snaps are there on facebook. The experience of watching a movie changes after you have seen the cast up close.
Genelia and Imran
Which reminds me to tell a lot of people the story of how it happened. As we all know (or some of us at least) that I was in Pune in my vacations. My bua lives in a posh colony and we had gone there to celebrate her birthday. Incidentally, and the cause of it all , Aamir Khan's sister also lives in the same building a couple of floors below my bua'a place. Jaane tu.. had just released and the whole cast was in town to promote the event. They stopped by Aamir's sister's house for drinks and dinner. Needless to say there was additional security in the colony and when they arrived, we could hear the commotion right up the 7th floor- where we were. My cousin and her friends rushed down like all (new) star-struck kids. So did my MOM!!! :P
I followed a long time later when my mother forced me to (not that I didn't want to in my heart but was acting nonchalant). Since they lived in the same building, all of them graciously invited us over. The first thing I notice as I enter is the shaven head of Aamir Khan. He is serving himself some biryani. Then obviously, the whole cast-each one of them looking much better than on screen.
Genelia and Imran with me
Seriously!! Genelia is looking really awesome and Imran Khan is looking really cute (my sister said that who almost fainted in my arms after getting his autograph which is her most treasured possession). I didn't know who Abbas Tyrewala was (for the ignorant- he is the film' director). Afterwards, I was told that the talkative baldie clicking away was him. Genelia was remarkable.
But, Sugandha was a revelation. Looking very classy and stunning. She was intelligent and easy to talk to. Oh Yeah.. she plays Shaleen in the movie- the girl with colored hair. In my second viewing of the movie, my attention was fixated on her rather than on the main leads. The rotdu of the movie was present as well.
A number of girls were there looking really delighted on seeing Adonis himself- Imran Khan. Their Pics have come out really nice. My sister is looking so gleeful. Almost satanic. I really tease her about it.
So thats all folks!! Hope your curiosity is satiated.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Giver of rain-Malhar!!

Yesterday went to Malhar for the 3rd year consecutively (without being a participant once again). To say the least, I was very disappointed on all accounts. The crowd(read GIRLS) wasn't that great. The participation in pretty much all the events was not really up to the mark. The organization was pathetic, rude and just plain stupid. I have pretty much gotten used to not knowing which path to take as some organizer is eventually going to rudely push me off it to some God forsaken path which takes thrice the time and energy to reach the desired destination. One thing which really attracts me to Malhar is the street dance which is probably their best event with everything you look for when you come to Xavier's fest. Due to the shitty disorganized management, I was actually and literally thrown out the college even though I had a VIP pass which technically should have allowed me access inside the foyer where I could have seen the dance sitting peacefully. Such is life (read Malhar).
It has been a downhill ride to Malhar in my experiences since the time I came here as a 1st year student, full of joy, expectation, hope, ambition and innocence :P. Our group had come with carefree abandon without even possessing the small scrap of paper which can gain you access inside the hallowed walls of Xavier's where the maidens reside. We stood in the line and saw some people being turned back due to lack of Pass or just plain whim. However, we decided to try our luck. We went there and told him as a matter of fact the name of our college. He looked incredulous and then asked us again. We gave him our ID's and he took them inside and out came 5 passes along with our ID's. We were impressed with the indentation that our institute inspired in inhabitants in this illustrious land ( YES, I can do a bit of alliteration). That was my best experience of Malhar, not to mention the extremely sweet sounding and pretty girls selling us their fest magazine.
I got through in my 2nd year by pretending to be a participant in some dance or dramatics event and moving in with my college's actual participants. That saved a lot of time that would have otherwise been spent in standing the commoner's line.
This time, I had to do exactly that. Stand among the plebeians and curse the security in charges. They are very particular about security. In fact, so much so that they took off the belt of a sophie and kept it saying that it's buckle was too BIG!!! LOL!! One can go on forever mentioning the acts of sheer stupidity that these people manage to invent by the dozens every year.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Busy, Busy!!

Third year in my college life has begun. I have planned to do all the stuff that I haven't for some inexplicable reason not done in the first two.
Life's been busy so far in this sem. Haven't yet completed the Great Indian Novel which is weighing on my mind. Playing squash a lot. Went swimming more times in 3 weeks than in 2 years here. It's really exhausting at the end of the day. Will have a lot more to do soon. Got quizzes coming up. Same old story once again. Sigh!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Great Indian Novel

Currently, reading The Great Indian Novel. A supreme book. All out classic. An unforgettable union of Hindu Mythology and modern history. Will try and post extracts as soon as possible.